In a society where masculinity is often equated with emotional strength and silence, the mental health of married men in Pakistan is suffering—quietly, but deeply. Behind the façade of responsibility, resilience, and rigid gender roles, lies a growing mental health crisis that demands urgent attention.
Despite the increasing awareness around psychological well-being, mental health among married men remains one of the most neglected topics in South Asian discourse. From societal expectations to marital pressure, multiple forces are pushing men to the brink, yet very few find the courage or the support to speak up.
The Cultural Trap: “Real Men Don’t Cry”
One of the most damaging beliefs embedded in our culture is that men must not show weakness. This “mard ko dard nahi hota” mentality teaches boys from a young age to hide their feelings, to stay silent in the face of pain, and to carry emotional burdens alone.
- Emotional suppression, over time, can lead to increased aggression, emotional numbness, and in extreme cases, suicidal thoughts.
- According to various studies and platforms, men in Pakistan are significantly less likely to seek professional help, leading to severe underreporting of conditions like depression and anxiety.
Instead of receiving support, men are told to “man up.” This toxic masculinity acts as a psychological cage, preventing emotional growth and healing.
Marriage: A Sacred Bond or an Unseen Battle?
Marriage is often seen as a cornerstone of adult life in South Asia. But for many men, it can become a hidden source of mental stress. Unspoken expectations, emotional disconnect, and cultural norms around male responsibility create a pressure cooker environment.
- Self-Silencing and Emotional Isolation
In traditional marriages, men are often discouraged from expressing vulnerability, fearing they’ll appear weak in front of their spouse or family. This leads to self-silencing—suppressing one’s emotions and needs just to maintain peace.
- Codependency and Marital Imbalance
In many cases, emotional codependency takes root, where men neglect their own well-being to fulfill their perceived roles as providers and protectors. This imbalance damages mental health over time and erodes marital satisfaction.
- Domestic Violence and Psychological Impact
Contrary to popular belief, domestic violence affects men too—emotionally and sometimes physically. But due to social stigma and fear of ridicule, many male victims never speak out. This silent suffering can lead to post-traumatic stress, depression, and deep emotional scars.
The Cost of Silence: Depression, Addiction, and Family Breakdown
Mental health issues don’t stay confined within the individual—they affect entire families, workplaces, and communities.
- High rates of depression and anxiety are being reported among men in their 30s and 40s, often linked to unresolved marital stress and societal pressure.
- Substance abuse—including alcohol and drugs—is sometimes used as a coping mechanism, further complicating emotional and physical health.
- The ripple effect includes strained family relationships, emotional detachment from children, and an inability to maintain social or professional life effectively.
Breaking the Cycle: What Needs to Change
To address this crisis, we must shift the narrative—both at a personal and societal level.
✅ Normalize Conversations Around Men’s Mental Health
We need to create safe spaces—at home, workplaces, and online—where men can talk about their emotional pain without shame or judgment.
✅ Accessible Counseling and Therapy
Affordable and culturally sensitive mental health services must be made available, especially in urban and semi-urban areas. Virtual therapy platforms can play a major role here.
✅ Mental Health in Primary Care
Integrating psychological screening and basic counseling into general medical checkups will make it easier for men to get the help they need discreetly.
✅ Redefine Masculinity
Let’s teach our boys that real strength lies in self-awareness and emotional intelligence, not in silence. Public campaigns, school programs, and religious leaders can help reshape this perception.
✅ Community Awareness Campaigns
Mass awareness through media, social networks, and religious institutions can help reduce the stigma and encourage families to treat mental health as a priority—not a taboo.
Real Men Heal
It’s time to accept a new truth: mental health is not a gendered issue—it’s a human issue. The mental well-being of married men in South Asia has long been overlooked under the weight of outdated gender roles and societal silence.
If we want stronger families, healthier marriages, and a more emotionally stable society, we must start by listening to our men, acknowledging their pain, and giving them the tools to heal.
